Armageddon overkill
[ by Charles Cameron — on abuses of word and image ]
.
Exhinit A, The Four Horsies of the ‘Pocapypse:
Meet Calamity (Pestilence), Raven (Famine), Clash (War) and Ghost (Death). They’re the Four Horsies of the ‘Pocalypse (or at least they would be if they could only get their act together)! This next-generation of doombringers are on a mission to destroy the Earth, but to do so, they’ll have to beat the likes of Queen Chroma and her rainbow sprite army! Too bad they can’t crack teamwork to save their lives.
**
Exhibit B, Juan Cole today:
Juan Cole asks:
Is Iraq Army Preparing for Armageddon with ISIL?
Armageddon? No, that would be near Haifa, not Mosul. And besides, for IS to take a battle seriously it would need to be at or near Dabiq, not Tel Megiddo.
**
Exhibit C, the Urban Dictionary:
-pocalypse
a suffix that is affixed to any word that describes the cause of a situation of relative discomfort derived from the last 3 syllables of ‘armageddon.’
As of late, the suffix “-pocalypse” has been popularized in the media, trying to make a minor event bigger than it is. Interestingly, an actual apocalypse would likely go by another name, or receive the suffix anyway. i.e. ‘Armageddonopalypse.’
Related suffix: “-mageddon”
The Hyphen is not always used.
Someone left the ‘fridge open, now were having the mold-pocalypse of ’11
by annoyedCitizen70 July 19, 2011
**
You might have thought once was enough..
January 2009, Mild winter easy on city budget December 2009, Crushed! Snowpocalypse crippled Washington, D.C. on this date in 2009 February 2010, Snowmageddon, Blizzard of 2010 February 2011, video, Snowpocalypse, Chicago 2011 January 2012, ‘Snowpocalypse 2012’ For Small Alaskan Town February 2013, Time lapse video of the 2013 Snowpocalypse in the Northeast January 2014, Atlanta ‘snowpocalypse’ mocked after 2 inches of snow strands thousands January 2015, Snowpocalypse 2015 January 2016, Snowpocalypse 2016: Desperate Hoarding Of Basic Supplies
Oh, and then there’s Trumpocapypse:
2015, South Park Imagines the Trumpocalypse 2016, For the Republican party, it’s Trumpocalypse Now
**
I have yet to see Mad Max Fury Road, in which:
A woman rebels against a tyrannical ruler in postapocalyptic Australia in search for her home-land with the help of a group of female prisoners, a psychotic worshipper, and a drifter named Max.
But it sounds like fun. PostApocapyptic, though?
**
Please. Apocalypse means Revelation or Unveiling, and although the revelation itself may cause upheavals up to and specifically including a series of trumpets accompanied by a series of plagues and woes —
And the seven angels which had the seven trumpets prepared themselves to sound.
The first angel sounded, and there followed hail and fire mingled with blood, and they were cast upon the earth: and the third part of trees was burnt up, and all green grass was burnt up.
And the second angel sounded, and as it were a great mountain burning with fire was cast into the sea: and the third part of the sea became blood; 9And the third part of the creatures which were in the sea, and had life, died; and the third part of the ships were destroyed.
And the third angel sounded, and there fell a great star from heaven, burning as it were a lamp, and it fell upon the third part of the rivers, and upon the fountains of waters; And the name of the star is called Wormwood: and the third part of the waters became wormwood; and many men died of the waters, because they were made bitter.
And the fourth angel sounded, and the third part of the sun was smitten, and the third part of the moon, and the third part of the stars; so as the third part of them was darkened, and the day shone not for a third part of it, and the night likewise.
and so forth —
And the fifth angel sounded, and I saw a star fall from heaven unto the earth: and to him was given the key of the bottomless pit. And he opened the bottomless pit; and there arose a smoke out of the pit, as the smoke of a great furnace; and the sun and the air were darkened by reason of the smoke of the pit. And there came out of the smoke locusts upon the earth: and unto them was given power, as the scorpions of the earth have power. 4And it was commanded them that they should not hurt the grass of the earth, neither any green thing, neither any tree; but only those men which have not the seal of God in their foreheads. 5And to them it was given that they should not kill them, but that they should be tormented five months: and their torment was as the torment of a scorpion, when he striketh a man. And in those days shall men seek death, and shall not find it; and shall desire to die, and death shall flee from them.
terminating with the end of this world — the post-Apocalyptic scene is serene and glorious —
And I saw a new heaven and a new earth: for the first heaven and the first earth were passed away; and there was no more sea.
Or as St Paul and Handel have it —
Or as the Qur’an says —
For the Trumpet shall be blown, and whosoever is in the heavens and whosoever is in the earth shall swoon, save whom God wills. Then it shall be blown again, and lo, they shall stand, beholding.
**
Hence — when you say postapocalyptic, please don’t mean “after the snowploughs” or even “post-Hiroshima” — agreed?
And the word apocalypse is best left to the imagination not of the toymaker but of the artist:
