{"id":60274,"date":"2018-07-23T07:58:03","date_gmt":"2018-07-23T07:58:03","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/zenpundit.com\/?p=60274"},"modified":"2018-07-23T08:04:19","modified_gmt":"2018-07-23T08:04:19","slug":"beach-umbrellas-impaling-east-coast-women","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/zenpundit.com\/?p=60274","title":{"rendered":"Beach umbrellas impaling East Coast women"},"content":{"rendered":"

[ by Charles Cameron<\/strong> — the writer is an indoors man, both literally and in GM Hopkins’ metaphorical sense<\/a> ]
\n.<\/p>\n

The first event took place in Seaside Heights, NJ<\/strong>, and the second in Ocean City, MD<\/strong>:<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

**<\/p>\n

One instance, I have always argued, is a poor indicator of anything — but two instances could be early indicators of a trend<\/strong><\/a>. <\/p>\n

Two beach umbrella impalings in about a week<\/strong> seems less than plausible by coincidence — it looks like there’s a master plan<\/strong> at work, and while the first umbrella pierced an ankle, the second reached the chest. It is time to take notice, and prepare appropriate defenses..<\/p>\n

Instance #1:<\/strong><\/p>\n

A pleasant day at the Jersey shore turned into a bloody nightmare for a British sunbather when a gust of wind blew an umbrella straight through her ankle, officials said.<\/p>\n

Margaret Reynolds, 67, of London was impaled by one of the tips of the aluminum umbrella, which turned into a projectile about 4:30 p.m. Monday in Seaside Heights, police Detective Steve Korman told The Post.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Instance #2:<\/strong><\/p>\n

OCEAN CITY, Md. \u2014 A spokeswoman for a Maryland beach town says a woman has been accidentally impaled in the chest by a beach umbrella.<\/p>\n

Ocean City spokeswoman Jessica Waters said it happened Sunday afternoon on the beach. She says the 54-year-old woman was conscious, but that her condition is not known at this time.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

A bolt-cutter<\/strong> was used to help withdraw the projectile from the British tourist in Instance #1, whiln a helicopter airlift<\/strong> to a nearby hospital was required in instance #2.<\/p>\n

**<\/p>\n

Sources:<\/strong><\/p>\n

\n
  • New York Post<\/strong>, Tourist impaled by beach umbrella on Jersey Shore<\/a>\n
  • New York Post<\/strong>, Woman impaled in chest by beach umbrella<\/a><\/li>\n<\/blockquote>\n

    **<\/p>\n

    I am happy to re-report of the woman in instance #2<\/a>, the more grievously attacked of the two:<\/p>\n

    She was flown to an area hospital for treatment of non-life threatening injuries.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

    We wish her a speedy recovery. <\/p>\n

    Of the woman in instance #1, I take pleasure in re-noting<\/a>:<\/p>\n

    Reynolds was taken to Jersey Shore University Medical Center for treatment and has been discharged.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

    A satisfactory conclusion to a difficult affair.<\/p>\n

    **<\/p>\n

    The perpetrator <\/strong>in each case would appear to be the wind<\/strong>:<\/p>\n

    Instance #1<\/a>:<\/strong><\/p>\n

    A pleasant day at the Jersey shore turned into a bloody nightmare for a British sunbather when a gust of wind blew an umbrella straight through her ankle, officials said.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

    Instance #2<\/a>:<\/strong><\/p>\n

    Witnesses said one gust lifted the umbrella<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

    No winds have been apprehended at this time. John 3.8<\/strong>:<\/p>\n

    The wind bloweth where it listeth, and thou hearest the sound thereof, but canst not tell whence it cometh, and whither it goeth: <\/p><\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    [ by Charles Cameron — the writer is an indoors man, both literally and in GM Hopkins’ metaphorical sense ] . The first event took place in Seaside Heights, NJ, and the second in Ocean City, MD: ** One instance, I have always argued, is a poor indicator of anything — but two instances could […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1681,361,526,1683,304,627,850,625,371,1682,741,676,1590,1,264],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-60274","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-act-of-god","category-america","category-charles-cameron","category-coincidence","category-defense","category-doublequotes","category-health-care","category-hipbone-analysis","category-humor","category-pneuma","category-poetry","category-scriptures","category-synchronicity","category-uncategorized","category-weather"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/zenpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/60274","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/zenpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/zenpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/zenpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/zenpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=60274"}],"version-history":[{"count":11,"href":"https:\/\/zenpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/60274\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":60287,"href":"https:\/\/zenpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/60274\/revisions\/60287"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/zenpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=60274"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/zenpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=60274"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/zenpundit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=60274"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}