ALL HAIL ZENPUNDIT I., EMPEROR OF GREENLAND
A New Power Is Rising
In the spirit of Russia’s recent and entirely specious claim to the sea floor of the Arctic Ocean , I would like to formally announce my claim to the imperial crown of Greenland as well as subsidiary overlordship over Baffin Island. Once the grateful natives and polar wildlife acclaim my benevolent, absentee, rule of the Greenlandic Empire, I will get about the business of issuing postage stamps, selling foreign ship registries and writing a few, slightly shady, bank secrecy laws.
Sure, Denmark already has de jure sovereignty over Greenland and they still have some kind of quaint, Scandivanian, bicycle-riding, monarchy rattling around Copenhagen and, technically, my blog is not yet considered a sovereign power, but what the hell ? The rule book has been thrown out! I don’t even think you need to be a nation-state anymore – call it a virtual, fourth generation, imperium. Plus, the chances of a punitive military expedition from Denmark reaching the Chicago area are relatively low. It’s not even that great that they’d make it to Greenland.
On a more serious note, the Russian claim to the Arctic may be complete nonsense in legal terms but the strategic energy policy behind the outrageous territorial grab it is not. It makes good sense for Russia to attempt maximize it’s future share of a tightening global oil and gas market as a way of boosting it’s geopolitical and economic influence. Without making too much of it in terms of noise, Washington needs to firmly rebuff Russia’s claim because any success will set off a scramble of imitators and splendid little wars across the globe between third and fourth tier powers. Or worse, larger powers like China with extensive but quiet claims of their own might begin to press them with greater vigor.
The world has enough headaches without re-starting the 19th century.
August 2nd, 2007 at 12:35 pm
To the best of my knowledge nobody but Russia acknowledges Russia’s claim to the territory which IIRC is currently considered to belong jointly to Canada and Denmark.
When this story first began to emerge several weeks ago, I said that Putin was whistling past a graveyard—Russia will be hard put to hold onto its territory in eastern Siberia let alone expand its holdings.
Domestic consumption. Keeping the extreme nationalists under wraps. May work for a day or two.
August 2nd, 2007 at 2:01 pm
Safranski’s Folly!
i would like to request a position in your administration that simultaneously combines great honor and little responsibility. what can you offer me?
further, when global warming pans out, you will find yourself with much more arable land.
đŸ˜‰
August 3rd, 2007 at 2:30 pm
” a position in your administration that simultaneously combines great honor and little responsibility”
I think you have hit upon the theme of my administration, Sean.
I dub thee the Seneschal of Thule and Vice-Grand Elector of the Imperial Chancellery. That should do.
August 3rd, 2007 at 2:34 pm
Dave,
I think you are right about a strong element here of mollifying the chauvinist Russian Right. Putin has always been careful to throw them symbolic bones on a regular basis in order to keep them from crystallizing into an opposition movement.
But if the Russians can get any traction on these claims, by default or otherwise, they will take it
August 3rd, 2007 at 7:19 pm
indeed, Mark. that’s great. thank you!
đŸ˜‰
August 5th, 2007 at 2:10 am
I wouldn’t mind a position within your wholly symbolic Army of Zen. A simple generalship with simple award of, say, those four rectangular islands off the northeastern coast upon retirement should suffice. Not exactly northeast Africa but enough to build the empire of Soob. Carthage beware…