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Further dangers lurking “in the kitchen of your mom”

[ by Charles Cameron — for our bizarre humor section, and featuring the word beer-goggled ]
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These two headlines from today’s findings struck me as painting a dark picture of the dangers hidden in even the brightest of kitchens these days:

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I’ll have to admit that I was torn, though — that penis and toaster headline cried out to be paired with another — illustrate illustrating between them the follies prevalent in my country of origin, and the necessity of parental guidance for its denizens:

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Sources:

  • The Atlantic Wire, Google Pressure Cookers and Backpacks
  • The Guardian, Do try not to get your penis stuck
  • NBC News, Drunken Brits fall foul of a pigeon
  • **

    My own roots are Scottish, so I was particularly proud to see the paras in the Drunk Brits piece which read:

    The video showed a clip from security cameras at Scotland’s Edinburgh Waverley station in which two men dressed in kilts – possibly supporters of Scotland’s rugby or football teams – on a platform.

    One tries to kick out at a pigeon but misses and his momentum causes him to fall onto the tracks in front of a stationary train.

    “The pigeon will always win when you are beer-goggled,” the caption says, using a slang term for the altered perceptions of a drunk.

    I even learned a new hyphenated word in all this mad kerfuffle: will wonders never cease?

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