EVALUATIONS
Every so often, at work, we are given professional reviews and I like to express my contempt for the meaninglessness of the process to any relevant professional function with tart commentary. My contributions this year were as follows:
In response to a demand for critical information about my colleagues, I replied:
“They are to staff meetings what Moses and the Hebrews were to the Sinai desert”
And of myself:
” I put the ‘I’ in ‘Team’ “
No one reads these forms and they have no discernable effect on one’s career. Golden ratings will not save you if you screw-up and annoy the wrong bigwig nor will long established mediocrity even be accurately documented. What a waste of time.
March 21st, 2007 at 1:31 am
Great! I was trying to catch up with the latest quietly while the kids slept, but now they want to know why dad can’t stop laughing. đŸ˜‰
March 21st, 2007 at 3:03 am
Much thanks Michael!
My personal favorite was the year I made my official professional goals to:
“1) Heal the lame, the blind and the halt of speech.
2) To evolve into a being of pure energy”
I was called on the carpet for that one…about seven months later; but my boss could do little without admitting to his superiors that he didn’t actually read all this crap and just based his evaluations on favortism and his own neurotic insecurities.
He eventually was done in when his former assistant became his boss. The karma train hits hard my friend.
March 21st, 2007 at 4:47 am
It’s better to work some place that has them, but doesn’t give them (because they are a waste of time). When someone doesn’t like the way you do things, you can say, “I was never given an evaluation so how would I know?”
Or in your case, “there was nothing on my evaluation about it.”
March 22nd, 2007 at 6:43 am
“1) Heal the lame, the blind and the halt of speech.
2) To evolve into a being of pure energy”
All praise yahweh, king of staplers.
March 24th, 2007 at 6:50 am
One of my coworkers goals for one year was to “wear more animal prints” I dont recall if she met her goal for the year or not.